Katurian Katurian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
goryteller) wrote2017-04-01 02:56 pm
goryteller) wrote2017-04-01 02:56 pm
IC contact
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, WILHELM. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 012.77.248.14 *** WILHELM has joined 012.77.248.14 <WILHELM> Hello. This is the private mailbox belonging to Katurian Katurian. It sounds a little like a fake name, but it isn't. <WILHELM>Ha ha. <WILHELM>Anyway, if you leave a message here, I'll get back to it when I can. | ||||
<marco>
I did.
<wilhelm>
<marco>
you could call it self-defense.
But don't get me wrong please.
I don't think that's any excuse.
<wilhelm>
[A long pause.]
I killed my father in self-defense, too. My mother as well.
<marco>
I'm sorry
I didn't mean to imply you did anything wrong.
Did it happen at the same time?
The two of them?
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Anyway, yes. It did happen at the same time. Or sequentially, I guess. I killed both of them while they were sleeping. And I guess it wasn't really self-defense because they weren't hurting me, they were hurting my brother, but I'm still glad I did it.
What happened with you? With your father?
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that they were hurting your brother I mean.
You were very brave.
My father
turned out to be a vampire.
I had no idea until it happened. I still don't know how long he had been a vampire for.
I think he was just like...
us. Here.
He must have attacked me out of hunger.
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[He feels hollow, typing that one word. 'Thanks.' Like he was the hero in his story. Like he's always been the hero. When Katurian looks back on that day, he sees himself as a coward pushed beyond his breaking point. Nothing more.]
If he was attacking you, there was only so much you could do. You didn't have a choice.
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But I didn't tell anyone what happened.
I made it look like there was a fire. Burned all the evidence away.
then inherited it all.
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It would have been the right thing to do.
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I don't know anything about your father. And I don't know that much about you either, now that I think about it, but I like to think you're a good person, and I know that if I lost my mind and tried to kill a good person and they killed me instead, I wouldn't be angry. I wouldn't blame them. And if you blame yourself, that's okay, too, because good people sometimes blame themselves for things like this, but it doesn't mean that it's your fault. Surviving isn't your fault.
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[It's complicated - to such an extent that even Marco doesn't realise it. He doesn't understand, not yet, what this incident and its consequences (and a healthy serving of other stressful circumstances, and a sprinkle of genetic predisposition) have done to him.
So hopefully Katurian won't take it personally if Marco seems to dismiss what he's saying.]
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I'm glad we've got that settled.
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I have a question too
If you don't mind.
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Sure. Of course. What is it?
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I don't think I told you this, so that's fine, but where I come from, the government isn't too fond of writers or [pause] the mentally unwell, with myself being the former and my brother being the latter, of course, and anyway, things aren't looking too good for us back there. I mean, before I arrived here, I was a political prisoner. I was very likely to be executed within the day.
Ha ha.
Anyway, to answer your question, I don't want to go home. I don't want to be a monster, but I don't want to go home. If my brother's dead, he's dead, but I'm hoping she'll bring him here someday. I think that'll be better. I think we'll have a better chance at a happy life, if that happens.
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It's funny
[This is... kind of personal. But he figures Katurian is kind of a friend, too. He certainly feels a sort of bond with him that he hasn't found in too many other places.]
I used to want to go home but
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a monster either.
But I've found very good people here.